As humans we all have certain desires and preferences when it comes to hobbies, foods, books, tv shows, movies and of course women. It's ok, don't feel bad just think if you were attracted to every woman you ever saw or came into contact with? My dick gets sore just thinking about it! So, what happens when your preference for a certain type of female goes against the social norms of the culture in which you live? Well you have two options: 1) conform to the social norm and only date the girls society dictates you can, or 2) find a way to break the social barriers. As a Mexican American or brown person with a preference for Caucasian or white women I had a number of obstacles to overcome. In addition to fighting the social norms of the south I also had to fight my own attitudinal barriers related to those norms. Here is how I did it.
First, I analyzed all the stereotypes associated with Mexicans and all the stereotypes associated with Caucasians. This allowed me to get a better view of a white girl's assumptions of me, while also giving me information about caucasians assumed (often false) attributes. Essentially you want to make sure you do not obviously identify with any of the negative stereotypes associated with your race, while at the same time identifying with all the positive characteristics of your race and culture. For example, Mexicans are thought to be dirty (negative stereotype), so I make sure to always look clean cut and presentable. Mexicans are also thought to cook great food (positive stereotype), and as a result I learned to cook a few traditional dishes. I had to accept the fact that there indeed was a difference between the way a girl perceived white guys and minorities. The difference had nothing to do with ability or attractiveness, but rather had everything to do with style. I realized that the game I spit to a girl was always going to be diverse due to the color of my skin and the environment in which I grew up. I was never going to have the game of a white or black guy, instead I was going to have a colorful brown person approach. This made me much more comfortable and confident during my approaches, and immediately I began to have more success.
Another important principle is learning about the culture of the people or place you find interest in or are restricted to. Find out what clothing styles, diction, and music are popular among those in your spectrum of concern. Add an outfit to your wardrobe, expand your vocabulary and listen to different music. I'm not saying you should completely change your style, but rather expand and build your realm of interests. This will give you conversation fodder, and possibly provide the common ground that connects you to your agent of interest. This strategy is also useful for your general well-being. Incorporating novel fashion, hobbies or music can improve and add color to the sometimes bland monotony of life. Remain open minded and try to find the beauty in everything ( even if it is polka music or yodeling).
The next realization actually binds the gravel to the pavement. While in undergrad I had the opportunity to be in a relationship group with six single girls (3 white, 3 black) for one of my research classes. I basically used the sessions to gain insight into how girl's percieve a potential partner from the first interaction to the breakup. I discovered the dynamic they found most appealing when a guy hit on them was that of playful confidence and high energy. They responded to guys that were self-assured, not full of themselves, and most importantly could make them laugh or smile. So, how do you go about being playfully confident and not come across homosexual or "nice"? Just think about the way it felt the first time somebody tickled you and try to capture that emotional state, then go and talk to the girl that has your interest. Remember some girls may not be attracted to your physicality or color, but almost all girls are attracted to jocularity and confidence.
A final note: don't go into an approach or interaction with thoughts about failure or rejection. If you do happen to get rejected, it's on to the next one as always. Also Don't let past disappointments cloud your judgement or control your emotional state. Being a minority unfortunately gives you a little less leeway when it comes to women (and society in general), so try and make sure not to jepordize your chances by having a scowl or bitch face (SMILE, SMILE SMILE!!!!). These are things you can control, and will give you a better chance at that all important connection. Have fun and be confident in yourself. If you are playful and energetic most likely she will mirror you, and become attracted, if not don't be discouraged. This game takes practice so go out there and put in work!
-Major Minority
P.S. As a minority or uncommon suitor keep in mind you represent your race and culture. You want that girl to have a positive view of your ethinicity beyond the encounter she has with you, so please don't act like a degenerate!
