I have seen many relationships deteriorate due primarily to a lack of respect for the other partner. Almost always the big fight happens over some minuscule incident that gets blown way out of proportion. The reason for such an event is most likely due to the failure of one or more partners in communicating their personal boundaries effectively. For example, if you are a man in a relationship with a very controlling and self conscious consort you must be sure not to become castrated in social situations. One way to go about this is by freely voicing your opinion often and unapologetically. Neither of you own each other, especially each other's thoughts, even if you are married! This goes for friendships as well. For example, if you feel as though a close friend has disrespected you then address the action, demand an apology and tell him/her if a similar instance should happen again the relationship is terminated. The idea here is to start communicating a representative image of yourself from the very start of the relationship. From day one let your consort know you are able to stand by your opinions, interact with others around you (strike up a quick conversation with a cashier, etc.), make direct eye contact, touch him/her on the shoulder when speaking, and (hopefully) control your emotions. If you are unable to do one or any of these things then figure out why and try to do a better job. Both you and your confidant will benefit in the long run.
Unfortunately, some of your relationships are guaranteed to fail due to the fact that some individuals will be unable to accommodate your newly expressed feelings, and that is ok. When a person is incapable of acknowledging your personal boundaries, then quite honestly that person is not worth keeping in your circle. The sour pill of a lost relationship is much sweeter than keeping alive a friendship of negativity. Always remember that relationships are a two way rodeo, so be sure to respect the boundaries of your partner. When there is a character trait you just cannot live with then tactfully address it, and hopefully a resolution will materialize or you may just have to learn to deal. If neither of these two options work then don't be afraid to end a relationship (I don't care if they are your roommate, wife, husband, boss or King David), just make sure you remain loyal to the decision you make.
Boundaries are very important because if you are able to stick to your guns in a small skirmish it becomes much easier to do so on D Day. Similarly, you will find yourself setting boundaries with family and close friends and soon enough you will be doing the same with complete strangers. For example, the other day I went to Starbucks at two in the afternoon and the cashier was extremely rude for absolutely no reason. I told her frowns don't earn crowns, and that as a paying customer I expect a smiling cashier. She gave me a smile faker than Dolly's chest, but the point is I communicated my feelings without malice, hesitation or regret. Every relationship has ups and downs, and communicating these feelings early can help keep the ship water tight. Also, don't be afraid of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone when it comes to sexual, physical and mental boundaries. If you are a "prude" try kissing your girlfriend passionately in public just once and then do it again. Give your best friend a big hug next time you see him, or make a secret handshake for your favorite professor. Be your own man, and try to understand yourself to the greatest extent possible. The better you know yourself the better you will know the people around you. Well my friend this is where I get off, take care.
-Major Minority
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